Dear Anne Marie: As a customer service representative, I'm on the phone all day with unhappy, frustrated and sometimes angry customers. By the end of the day, I'm unhappy, frustrated and angry! I don't like taking this home to my kids. Is there anything I can do so that I feel better at 5:00 p.m.?
   — Janet T.

Dear Janet: You care deeply about your family and the time you spend with your children. Family values, like all your core values, are the guiding force in your life. When difficulties arise you concentrate on where you want to be—aligned with your values—thus escaping the common pitfalls of whining, pouting and crying "poor me".

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of responsibility. When you feel responsible for making your customers happy, their unhappiness becomes your problem. Consider this, every person you speak with is feeling something, and you are "catching" his or her feelings like the germs of a bad cold. Prevention is your best defense against the daily, often negative impact of other people's emotions.

The Game Plan

First, be aware of how you start your day. Do you jump out of bed and race into the shower? Are you solving problems in your head and worrying about the customers you will have to deal with? These behaviors, coupled with the fact that cortisol, the body's main stress hormone, is usually highest in the morning are practically guaranteeing that you will have a challenging day.

Second, focus on the results you want to achieve. You want your kids to enjoy a happy, energetic and engaged mother. Continually ask yourself, "Are my thoughts, my emotions and my behaviors taking me toward my desired results or away from them?" Then make any necessary adjustments.

Third, depersonalize your customers' behaviors. Your customers are not unhappy with you. Rather, they are fed up with feeling helpless when they have to deal with a large organization and you happen to be in the line of fire. Take several slow breaths and remind yourself that it is not about you.

Fourth, take frequent stretch breaks. Stress accumulates in your body in the form of muscle tension. Stand up and stretch several times a day and do it with the intention of releasing stress so you can feel more relaxed.

Fifth, emotions are contagious. Take the time to notice how the people around you are feeling. Are they happy, irritated, distracted or calm? The very act of noticing can help prevent you from being swept up in someone else's storm.

Finally, make self-care a top priority. The better you feel, the easier it will be for you to interrupt the stress cycle and stop reacting to other people's negative emotions.