Dear Anne Marie: I am Vice President of Marketing for a very successful software company. Recently, I was assigned to handle a campaign for a major client of my company. I assembled a top-notch team to handle the challenging and exciting work. The problem? The client calls ten times day demanding updates, complaining and even yelling if she doesn't immediately get what she wants. The team is losing motivation under this onslaught. What can I do?
   — Jeremy B.

Dear Jeremy: You are a charismatic man who loves a challenge. Your specialty is bringing diverse groups of people together and inspiring them to be creative, innovative and resourceful. Nothing thrills you more than seeing a team of people in sync with each other accomplishing tough and demanding goals.

Managing The Moment

The "Moment to Manage" is your feeling of judgment. Your client's relentless telephone calls along with her rudeness to your staff are causing you to view her in an increasingly negative light. This you cannot afford to do! Your judgments shape your attitude and your attitude forms the building blocks for communication, negotiation and conflict resolution. To relate effectively with your client, adopt a positive attitude.

The Game Plan

First, update your client daily at a pre-arranged time. Your client is insisting on some pretty serious hand holding, so you might as well do it on your terms. Contact her daily by phone and send her e-mail updates to ensure that she stays informed. Make an effort to give her information she needs before she asks for it.

Second, act as a buffer between the client and your team. Secure the client's agreement to contact you and only you for updates, information or to give feedback. It will help the team stay motivated if they interact primarily with you.

Third, discover the client's most pressing concern. What is on the line for this woman with this campaign? What is she most afraid of? What is her highest need? By caring enough to learn what is most important to her you will be in a better position to win her trust and possibly her co-operation.

Fourth, communicate, communicate, and communicate! Most people avoid communicating with someone who is being intractable because it feels frustrating and futile. Unfortunately, this attitude only makes things worse. The next time you have the urge to avoid talking with your client, stop and take a deep breath to help calm yourself; remind yourself that a lot is riding on this campaign and then stay in the conversation.

Finally, remember that your performance creates your reputation. It's easy to get sidetracked by difficult people and even use their behavior to justify your inability to do a good job. In the long term all people will remember is, "did you get the job done?" and "did you do it well?" Aim for the "big picture" and stay focused on what is important.